IWill

IWill 2024-04-03 01:45 - 4 minute read

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Sorry no matter what you did to isolate me as a son, I won't hurt my wife anymore 

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She is really coming between us and you must talk less to her. You have really changed

This would be said early on in our marriage 

And I would get scared and I would start ignoring my wife to not offend my mom.

You are so changed now. Always on dinners with your wife. I am worried for my mom

This would be said by my sister and mom would cry and an atmosphere would be created as though loving my wife was bad

 

She laughed too loud.

She looked too good to attract attention.

She was too dominating over me.

 

She was just not liked

 She would be isolated and attacked and I would feel strange but still ignore.

I would give time to my family and She would just break looking at me.

Her flower like face going down each day. Her smile going away. Her pain increasing and she would fight with me and I wouldn't see the problem. 

She had become so different. She had become so broken and I continued and now everyone blamed her for being moody, arrogant and even someone who caused trouble.

I felt wrong was it all. But didn't know what to fix and how to fix.

A friend of hers suggested her iwill therapy.

She was diagnosed with severe depression and I would hear her crying on the phone with her iwill therapist.

As she stabilised a bit, she was kind enough to give a person like me another chance. She asked me if I wanted to join couple Therapy at IWill. I decided that yes I wanted to.

And it was here I could see all the fault lines.

1. My therapist helped me see that I was the only one who was her husband. Her companion. The beautiful gift of her was mine and I had to nurture her and I isolated her, denied her of the love she deserved as my life partner and so early on and I made her insecure about life about her future 

2.My therapist helped me see that she was being denied the right to be herself. If i was stopped from laughing, from being ambitious or myself how would I feel? And how would I cope with it?

3. She helped me see that I had to love her the most, she and I had to live a life together of love, of happiness, of being denied that, was absurd on my part. To ruin that happiness, she and I felt together was absurd.

4. I had to stand for her. How was she talking away me from anyone. Everyone including me had taken her husband, her trust, her right to be loved away.

I learnt in therapy what I had done and what I had to do now.

Our therapist at IWill helped her get that bond again. We would go together, we would sit in the park. We would run up and down a mall laughing. I would not care for anyone and just hold her hand as soon as I and she were back from work.

I would stand for her happiness, her voice her needs And my life became so happy. It became so beautiful! It became the best thing in this world.

And I suffered too, sometimes emotional cutting off by family, isolating me, taunting me and at other times threatening to take my property Rights away but I don't care!

What is wrong won't become right.

I lead a beautiful life with my wife and I would not exchange anything for it

We are growing in life. I am about to become a father and I would do everything I can for my child and his mother.

They need me and never again will I let my absence be the cause of Pain in my partner's life for fake insecurity 

Shivam Gupta 

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