IWill

IWill 2021-04-07 10:11 - 4 minute read

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The impact of continuous Small insults and remarks on mental health is damaging

IWill user

 

Our son wasn’t like this. Wonder what changed. 

Did anything happen of your promotion? Nothing...umm 

Oh, you woke up so late. Mummy had to do everything. It’s not good for her

Women should after marriage see their husband’s home as everything. Parents should become secondary. Let them live and enjoy their life!

I used to never spend my husband’s money on me. I knew he had sisters, parents. Their right was more. (This on day when my husband did a small shopping for me)

You should leave me at Anaath Ashram (this one was said to my husband in my presence, when he had come from a small trip with me)

 

 

These and more would be said day in and day out to me!

You would think yes they are painful but these are very small insults and small remarks! 

 

But these small remarks pushed me into depression!

No one stands up for you for the small remarks! If you say something about this to people around. Oh that’s it!

You are reading between the lines! You are the one who is insecure! You don’t treat my family as yours! That’s nothing, x person faced so much abuse!

You are being too touchy!!!

 

But only my therapist at IWill got me and she also helped me and my husband understand why did this lead me to depression 

And my IWill therapist helped me see how!!

 

What makes us happy?

It’s quite the opposite of these small remarks... in my home. It wasn’t the money, it wasn’t the big things that made me happy! 

Things like 

Beta your favorite food is ready!

Are you ok? You look upset? Everything will be fine 

Work hard. It will happen next time 

Go and sleep beta. I’ll do it myself 

 

These very small things in my home, used to make me feel like trying, fighting my circumstances, and rising above. The small care made me feel pampered, human loved!

When these small concerns for me were stripped off, a home that I was in felt like a prison! 

And this pushed me in depression!

I didn’t want to get up because my ears didn’t want to hear the small remarks!

I didn’t want to do anything for my mind would be scared of small remarks! 

I didn’t feel like living because of the controlling, insecure, jealous small actions to keep me away from my husband 

 

I joined IWill therapy and the small healing gestures started soothing me. My husband joined in and the small little steps of therapy making him understand the issues I was going through in his home were comforting!

My assertion and strength to stop, fight and assert my way through but never allow things to be said to me casually were helping me!

Small insults, remarks are few and far between! When they happen, I call them out! Depression has improved too but what is still remaining is some anger of going through all this, this horrible day and in and day out alien treatment that I got! I will overcome that too slowly in therapy but there is nothing worse than small remarks of abuse, made to belittle you! 

 

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