The people in home make you alone, not their physical absence 

IWill blogs

I was unwell and yet no one worried too much. I felt invisible. This wasn't the case when someone else was unwell. I think such coldness was reserved for me.

I would wait for my partner to come and talk to me but he wasn't there, sometimes cousins, sometimes friends, sometimes work but never me. When I would ask, he would say he was there but this was all needed.

I failed and failed at work but rather than giving me empathy, I became a topic of ridicule or even asking me sarcastic questions making me feel like I wasn't as good.

And when I did good, I would be compared. I would be made to feel bad about past failures or failures that were not in my control.

I would cry and people would have superficial words of sympathy.

I would be in the home, people caring for each other, laughing, or talking work but not being a part.

Everyone being so caring for each other but not for me.

That is being lonely. I felt unseen, hurt, humiliated, rejected, intentionally made to feel I didn't belong. That was the biggest hurt.

I started therapy at IWill and she helped me focus on myself

She helped me meet with people who love me on regular basis.

She helped me with healing and focusing on my work.

She gave me positive feedback always, helped me build a view of me beyond these people.

She helped me gain perspective on my career goals, on what I needed fo do for my future.

She helped me also learn how to stand up, speak up, call out my partner when he was ignoring .e

 

It really helped me undo all the negative stuff thrown at me.

I grew from strength to strength.

I green from happiness to happiness.

I became more confident in career.

I didn't listen to the hate. My heart was closed to that.

My husband changed as he started couple therapy too. But you feel loneliest when your own home makes you alone.

Leaving may be with no one without disrespect, humiliation and at your own terms is easier.

 

I learnt it for myself.