IWill

IWill 2021-09-12 12:18 - 2 minute read

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The worst is to live with people who want you to please them at your cost

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The worst pain is to live with people who are so self-obsessed that they can't think anything beyond them. They see everyone as a means to work out their plans. 

I was stuck with such people.

They didn't like me smiling hard because that was annoying to them. I had to be coy and quiet to be liked by them.

They didn't like me HAVING my goals and work, because that was being away from what they wanted me to do and so I was only good if I was part of their plans. 

They didn't feel good when I was the center of attention. They needed to have that for them all the time.

If I did things for them, if I acted they were somehow superior to me, if I made them feel that I was less, they would be happy. 

If I would be with people who loved me, they felt angry that why wasn't I serving them? I wasn't really seen as a person with independent emotions FOR THEM and that was the worst feeling!

 

Such people when they come around you break you... I would feel empty with them like  I had lost everything as I connected with nothing... It WAS painful

Life is not to be lived for other's happiness alone. Certainly not at your expense.

 

I had become so self-conscious. so unhappy, so internally confused... I never could understand why I should lead a life like this?

Why I should be so much in pain, so ignored, so controlled for other's egos and pleasure...

My life was becoming not mine... I joined IWill therapy. And it was in therapy that the therapist helped me find that I was worth... My therapist helped me assert for myself, to draw boundaries, to say no, and be ok with what their behavior would be... Their behavior I could learn to ignore and even challenge, but I couldn't have lived with a broken life, destroyed self-esteem! 

I learned to stand up for myself. I learned to not break myself to please others. The cost of my happiness wasn't a price I should be paying for anything!

The worst is to live with people who are not a family or a well-wisher but just so selfish that they can't see beyond themselves. They harm the most and damage a person's emotional health... If you are stuck with such people, it's important to work on your emotional health, assert and make space for yourself!

You have to gain your strength and challenge your emotional pain and fight for your happiness.

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