IWill

IWill 2021-10-30 11:07 - 4 minute read

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The worst pain in the world is to feel loneliness even when you have loved ones

IWill blogs

 

 

I have experienced the worst pain in the world and that is when you are made to feel alone, lonely, and completely insecure despite having a family. 

The worst pain is when you have people around you but no one wants to talk to you or care about things you are feeling. No one cares about things you need in life. You are just there but don’t matter to anyone!

The worst pain is when you are upset and people around go about their day like it’s not their business! They rather blame you for being upset! They say it’s you who is the reason for your own sadness! But they never sit and listen to you. 

 

The worst pain is when you have no one who cares about your emotions! You can see them caring for others, speaking, interacting and being there for others but not for you. You are like there but you don’t touch their heart!

The worst pain is when no one wants to change anything for you but expects you to forget everything you ever were and wanted!

It’s worst to be with people who don’t care for you! It’s worst to be with people who are not sad by how things are for you, when they forget that you depend on them, that your world relies on them

 

And I had cried so much. 

Every day was so heavy. It hurt how I stopped to matter to people who should have loved me!

I really was beyond depressed. Every day would cause me so much hurt and pain and self doubt and pity and also a feeling of being cheated!

I joined iwill therapy as I needed someone to speak to, share with someone what all was happening to me! 

 

And it was in therapy that my feelings were acknowledged!

 That I wasn’t labeled as drama or nagging for talking about what I was actually feeling!

 

The IWill therapist helped me slowly bring back my focus to myself! If no one was standing up for me, I needed to do that for myself! I had to focus on my career, my thoughts, things that make me happy, carve out a life with friends and people who cared for me!

I needed to have boundaries and assert for myself! I had to stop crying and looking at one set of people who had deserted me for validation and happiness! I just had to refocus, relook at my life! 

I am glad I took therapy... I am glad I looked beyond people who were ignoring me! My life was bigger than them! I was making myself isolated by expecting consideration from where there was none! 

Loneliness due to people who were supposed to be with you is hurtful! And it does sting you hard! But you can overcome even that hurt! It’s one of the worst pains, you deserve better!

I don’t care for who cares for me now! 

I don’t care if they love me or not! I love myself! 

I have a friend circle! I have ambitions! I won’t look up to people who isolated me for love anymore! I am enough... and I am glad I could come to that strength emotionally! 

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