The worst pain is to live with people who create problems in your life to satisfy their own egos and insecurities and controlling nature.

IWill blogs

Living with people who only want to create problems in your life because they cannot accept you is the worst 

 

I was suddenly living with people who just saw me as a competition and didn't like me. 

They did not like my relationship with their son and my husband and they would constantly attack me on the smallest of things. 

They would tell him how he was forgetting, changing, becoming weak, and unmanly in my presence 

They would constantly stop me from one thing or the other, just to make a point that I was unaccepted. 

 

I started seeing the relationship between me and my spouse deteriorating. I wanted him to stand up for me but with all the manipulation, he would see this as my way of further distancing him from his family as they were pointing out,

I found myself helpless.

I found myself completely cornered and alone. 

I found myself completely lost here and missing my spouse. 

I found myself completely misunderstood and being hurt for being myself.

 

I was shocked that I was just so young with people who were competing with me. I was like their child. I didn't know what I had done but just honestly, madly, deeply love my husband and hope to have a good life with him.

I joined IWill therapy as I was losing my mind. I would just cry, and I would have very difficult thoughts and moods. 

And it was in therapy at IWill, that my therapist first helped me see I wasn't weak. Yes, I was in a new setup, a new kind of people, but this would happen outside too. I had to stand up for myself. I didn't have to feel so powerless. I had a voice and when someone treated me unfairly, I had every right to speak up and state the obvious, and say out loud when I was being treated unfairly.

She further helped me start activities like meeting friends and working and she would encourage me so much that despite the pain, I could pull through, and slowly and steadily I started feeling better.

As with my changes and happiness,

My husband too joined couple therapy and it was in couple therapy that he could so easily understand how he was being unfair to me, as I was just asking for love, that is why I was here.

That his time with me was my right, not an exception.

That I was his first family as he was mine, not his last.

That it was his love that would keep me in this relationship, as mine would keep him, not ignorance.

That time away from each other as partners is abnormal and not the other way around 

 

And he started seeing how this was wrong.

How my laughter was my beauty, not attention seeking or childish.

How my rights on him were my love, not suffocation.

How my expectations from him and vice versa were making us happy, not empty.

How my care for him was love, not dominance.

 

And things just turned around for me, with my strength, with this change. But what I went through, I can never forget.

I am glad I am out 

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