IWill

IWill 2021-12-31 04:19 - 4 minute read

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The worst pain is when your family wants your marriage to fail

Siddharth Jain

I and my wife had really misunderstood each other a lot and our life was at one of the worst places.

 

I was bitter. She was hurt. My work had gone for a toss. I was usually always in stress, anxiety, anger,p[' and she in fear, hurt, depression and pain...

We had a love marriage and this was one of the most important relationships for us...

But after our marriage, everything started looking like it was wrong...

 

It started looking like, getting married to each other was our worst decision... And that she felt I didn't love her and I felt she is just not in fit in my life...

We were about to get divorced when due to a friend, we joined IWill therapy and the couple sessions saved us from doing the biggest mistake of our life. 

 

The role of the family in making us apart was big and that's what hurts me the most... You trust your family to do the right thing for you and so did I...

 

They said that my wife was dominating. She didn't give me space. She wasn't concerned about my career. They gave examples of others and I believed... Her good gestures started looking bad to me...

Yet these were the things that made me special for her, she was not dominating, she felt she had her right on me... As I had on her... 

 

They said her independence shows she is not wanting to adjust to our family... 

But in reality, she was here as a family member... It was us who needed to stop getting offended... In therapy, I understood, that it was me who had to stand up for her independence in my home. I always knew she was like that, happy, carefree, opinionated, lovely and even if somethings had to be said to her, it should have been with acceptance, love, and as one treats family... 

 

When she felt isolated and I felt angry with the daily dramas, everyone said it was her... Rather than talking to her and sorting this out, I ignored her... When she was upset, it looked drama to me because others said so...

We had stopped talking to each other and started understanding each other from the eyes of those around... 

And it was all wrong... The family didn't like my partner may be and they didn't think she was right for me... But their judgments, their triggers, insinuations harmed me... And they harmed my trust in them and MYSELF...

 

I and my wife are working out our differences and we are LISTENING TO EACH OTHER, no one else...

But IT WAS so hurtful that all these commotions, fights, broken emotions happened because of our own people... 

I was as much at fault but then you learn what is good or bad from your own family... And my wife's pain, her sudden change in life, and her emotions because of that were made to look like its "her personality"

 

I am sorry that it happened... And I am glad we are back together...

Before giving up on your relationship, see whether you are fighting because of others... If yes, speak, sort, fix but don't give up on each other! 

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