IWill

IWill 2021-06-24 08:26 - 8 minute read

Book & Start IWill Therapy Now Online On Play Store App Store

Things you go through If you have Mumma’s boy Husband

iwill user

ou feel like you are the “OTHER WOMAN”

 

I am Shraddha and I had taken therapy at IWill 3 months ago because I was absolutely bitter, angry, hopeless, empty, reactive… And all of this was happening to me because I had a husband who was a mumma’s boy and wasn’t even aware of it, like most who are don’t.

First in IWill therapy, therapist helped me to not react to situations, but take charge, stand up, articulate what’s wrong and also not take things that are painful. Then as I got assertive, I changed, my husband saw this, he too joined therapy and through coupes therapy at IWill, he too could see how problematic, our relationship from his side was, how much was I TESTED in this relationship and how much he neded to change.Things are not the  same for me anymore. And that is Why I write this article today. Identify and if its you or your wife, seek help at IWill and change this pattern

 

Loving your mom unconditionally is not the same as Loving your mom ONLY and being guilty of loving your wife.

 

Here are the 4 key things you go through each day…

 

1. You feel like you are the “OTHER WOMAN”

 

Does your husband calculate time with you basis how much time he has spent with his mother?

Does your husband often express more love for his mother after showing some love to you, just to even things out or emphasise how mother is more important to him than YOU, even when its not needed?

Does your husband make you feel like he is doing something “illegal” by doing things alone with you or that he is breaking the TRADITIONAL ROUTINE AND NORMS, RITUALS HE HAD IN HIS HOME WITH HIS MOM, PRIOR TO YOUR MARRIAGE AND TRIES TO GUILT TRIP HIMSELF AND ALSO YOU FOR THIS?

Do you see your mom in law and husband exchanging strange glances, everytime you and your husband come back from some time alone?

Then you officially know what it is to feel like the “other woman”, even when you are the only one he has his wife. You know how bad, how painful, how heartbreaking, how anxiety and fear provoking this dynamic can be. How cornered and unfortunate you may sometimes feel with this and how much this DYNAMIC NEEDS TO CHANGE… BECAUSE ITS PLAIN AND SIMPLE WRONG.

Your time with your husband is not relative to anyone’s, rituals before marriage that he had will be broken due to new relationships and this cannot be used to guilt trip or disadvantage your couple relationship!

 

2. Spending TIME with your husband always comes with DRAMA

 

Do you have to almost fight for your time with your husband?

Does your husband feel OK to be with his siblings, his friends and his mother is fine with it too, but when it comes to your time together, something or the other HAPPENS and either the thing gets postponed or even if you go out, it no longer remains happy moment?

Do words and sentences like , "sons forget after marriage", "now bhaiya is a changed person", "someone else’s son can leave everyone but not his mother," do things like these, are spoken in your home, just to subtly confront the me time, you have as a couple and does your husband feel scared of this?

Does something last-minute, urgent, of critical importance happens each time you guys have a plan together?

 

If you replied yes to these questions and if you could think of more similar things that justify the main point then you are too like me suffering from too much drama for just a simple loving bond with your husband that is your right and it sure must be messing up really badly with your mental and emotional health and even making you empty, low, hyper or all of it from within.

 

3. He makes you feel GUILTY about coming in his life

Does your husband tell you how your claiming his time is taking him away from being a good son?

Does your husband sometime tell you of how much his mom has done for him and how his financial resources, his life is all hers, even when you don’t know why do you need to listen to all these things??

Does he tell you he regrets that his time with you makes him spend less time with his mother?

Does he compare his mom to you and says sometimes that no one can take her place in his life?

 

If you replied yes to these and you have more examples then your husband is unknowingly but intentionally making you feel guilty for coming in his life when the reality is this should NEVER BE THE CASE.

He too has replaced a lot of spaces in your life and that’s WHAT MARRIAGE IS ALL ABOUT. Its not your fault! YOU DON’T DESERVE SUCH UNEVEN COMPARISONS NEITHER SHOULD YOUR HUSBAND BE THINKING ALL THIS AND RUINING THE SMOOTH COUPLE LIFE YOU TWO DESERVE AND NEED TO HAVE!

 

4. Your HUSBAND neglects your needs just to Satisfy his mom’s ego and his own assumptions about his SON’S ROLE DEDICATION.

Does your husband not give you the attention that is due to you?

Does your husband avoid exchanging conversations with you when everyone is around?

Does your husband ignore your parents and your home, just to prove a point that he still belongs all to his family?

Does your husband cancel your plans in a moment just to fulfill other plans with his mom?

Does your husband spend hours in his mom’s room just doing nothing and does this as a habit while you keep waiting in your room or living room for his attention?

Does your husband neglects your emotional needs always saying he has roles of a son, of a man?

If you responded yes any or all of these questions then you are STRUGGLING WITH CHRONIC LACK OF LOVE from a relationship that for you as a woman has practically replaced all other emotional relationships, due to the distance.

 

Being a wife of a mumma’s boy is draining. It affects your bond, the home dynamics, your mental health and also puts success of your marriage at a risk.

Seek therapy alone first to heal yourself like I did, to stand up, to rebuild a life and then couple therapy to fix this painful, unneeded, TOXIC dynamic.

This is not love for the mother. This is a disregard of your evolved role as a man and there needs to be acceptance of this…

Shraddha

For IWILL THERAPY SESSIONS, YOU dont have to go anywhere.

IWill therapy is available online and sessions happen on call/chat or video.

You just have to Download IWill app for ANDROID, book and start today::https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.epsyclinic.iwill

Book & Start IWill Therapy Now Online On Play Store App Store

The 
w
 Journey
The best online therapy experience
Play Store App Store