IWill 2021-07-07 10:03 - 2 minute read

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This is how depression feels! Must read

IWill user

I felt like someone had tied me up, couldn’t move, couldn’t think constructively, couldn’t follow steps... yes I had a  lot of thoughts in my mind at times but all painful, all scattered... and at other times, a crazy blankness, I would stress myself to think something, get something in my head but the painful quietness would break me.

I was seeing my dreams shattering, enemies succeeding, good tasks slipping away, work becoming distant... and yet I was ice frozen for days, for weeks, for months... nothing in me moved and I cried more for my own failure... I cried for the loss of myself... I grieved everyday death of my ambitions...

I was missing my loved ones so deeply and yet no one understood me.. their over-simplistic solutions would drive me away... make me feel that no one gets me..: it I could just put this weight off, and smile, I would have already done that... if setting an alarm or just moving it would have helped me I would have been already out of it

I was just stuck, in hopelessness, in pain, in guilt, in shame, in self-doubt, in loss, in helplessness... I know now we label this as Depression.

So if you, like me are just frozen in time, losing, wandering aimlessly, feeling you know what is to be done but don’t do it because an invisible force stops you, asks you to HATE yourself, then it’s depression!

Good news? Awareness of it helps and there is treatment and complete recovery from
It available and possible!

I started therapy from Iwill as I understood this is depression! I didn’t have to sit on it and allow it’s inertia to break me and drown me completely!

The therapist at iwill first helped me se myself in a different light, show me, explore with me areas of my life, and myself, I had forgotten , existed... she helped me look at my thoughts, and help me see how many were so inaccurate.. she helped me see past failures that I had were not because I was the problem, but because there were issues... she helped me see that I couldn’t punish myself for others nastiness!

She helped me overcome this sadness by focussing on different things, thinking in different ways, being more proactive in managing what I allow myself to think about or engage with... dark clouds that I had been surrounded by started lifting... she also involved my family, my spouse and helped them too know what and how they needed to be...

I was battling an illness and I needed empathy love, support.. Today after 6 months of therapy, 15-16 conversions with therapist, lot of work on my life, my thoughts and how I see myself, who I talk to, no garbage in so no garbage within, after all of it I am free from DEPRESSION!


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