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IWill 2023-04-11 11:46 - 4 minute read

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Toxic abuse is common at homes and it is passed as adjustment 

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Toxic abuse is a pattern of making someone feel less, isolating someone, being mean to someone and verbally attacking someone to gain emotional control, to hurt and to display entitlement.

Toxic abuse patterns are surprisingly extremely common at home. And the worst part is that they are usually tried to be made like most normal expectations and adjustments that must be done.

 

When the toxic abuse is happening at homes, the person facing this is asked to "adjust" and also made to believe that by complaining or having pain, they are the wrong one. And this can create a lot of damage to someone's emotional and mental health.

 

 

Here are examples of common Toxic abuse passed in the name of Adjustments 

 

1. Expecting to constantly please everyone to be barely accepted, even at the expense of self.

2. Made to feel like an outsider by constantly comparing what they do and what happens in the home, by hiding things, not making part of conversations at home.

3. Isolating someone and making them feel secondary. Trying to show that they are not as loved and that they should accept that people have already very strong bonds and they should adjust with less attention, love and time. This happens usually more with married women who are made to feel many times that their husband will and should keep her after everyone. 

4. Small remarks constantly on a daily basis, to show constant disapproval and disappointment with the person.

5. Prejudiced opinions where the person is always made to feel like they are doing or have done something wrong.

6. Constant attacks on their personality, habits and an attempt to make them uncomfortable with who they are, implying that they need to change a lot.

7. Loneliness and cold vibes to control.

 

These abuse patterns at home are highly toxic and are known to cause emotional and mental health issues, highly uncalled for anyone to be going through these. And yet they are the norm for many.

They continue damaging a person but when they speak, they are made to feel like they don't know how to adjust, they are not good, they are someone who is wrong and that they are below expectations of others. 

Also toxic abuse is continued by comparisons, by saying how someone else is ok with these patterns and that they are the ones who are a problem.

Toxic abuse is not ok. No one should be made to feel secondary, or be isolated or made to feel like they don't belong at their own home.

Many people at IWill therapy come when they feel broken, like life has no meaning. Through therapy at IWill they learn to assert, to stand up, to not take any abuse that is breaking them, To focus on their goals.

In therapy, we also help partners and key loved ones see how their behavior or lack of standing up is breaking a person. 

 

Toxic abuse at homes is the worst. It continues 24 7 sometimes. It's always brushed aside as adjustment and there is usually a lot of grouping that happens.

 

If you are going through similar patterns, seek therapy at IWill. 

 

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