IWill 2021-08-19 01:25 - 6 minute read

Book & Start IWill Therapy Now Online On Play Store App Store

What to do when you are not able to overcome pain due to divorce

IWill Expert

Divorce happens when things don’t work out.
It’s usually a result of isolation, one-sided selfishness, exploitation, emotional pain, denial of love and respect, misunderstandings and toxic abuse too.

So it’s true that things were bad, things were problematic and this led to divorce...

Yet it’s the most difficult event and people, almost all struggle to be able to contain the pain, the lack of Hope, the emptiness that comes with divorce

Why is this?

Well, it is because we as individuals expect most in life from our marriage relationship and our spouse. We believe that they will be closest, we will have the best time with them, love, laugh, and have a companion in hardships.
Our daily routine, our self-esteem, our social status, our social recognition is all attached to the person after marriage! And there is just too much interdependence!

Divorce not only breaks a relationship but also breaks those expectations and thereby the Hope attached with it.

It brings in social awkwardness, as most people are not sensitive enough around! It brings in guilt, shame, frustration and a feeling of being choked, of wanting to reverse things, of wanting to find a way out so that all the hurt can be eliminated...

If this happening to you too, you are unable to cope with divorce... if you keep inside, feel sad, don’t want to do anything, share your feelings, cry, feel numb, you are hurting deeply!

The next step to this, how do you stop feeling this way?

1. Stop talking to people who blame you: do this now! There will always be people who won’t see your side! You don’t have to convince them. Draw boundaries. Don’t answer their calls. Don’t meet. Your mental health is important!

2. Stop ruminating thoughts: what if I did this’? What if I could change this? Was I at fault there? Why did I tolerate abuse for so long? Why did I , why did I? Going over and over in your mind on things that have passed is rumination: it is known to bring in restlessness, guilt, anxiety, hurt, depression and depleting energy from the ability to fight the present! Distract, be aware, engage in something but don’t allow your brain to go in this cycle!


3. Seek therapy

You need healing. You need motivation. You need to overcome a lot. You need to forget and move on from a lot. You need to manage a lot of emotions together to free yourself from this hurt! And you can’t do it all on your own many times... and unguided healing can lead to more trauma and more baggage, more resentments and more regrets. Hence start therapy today.. a professional psychologist can help you process all of it, lessen the hurt, help manage the restlessness, lessen the anxiety and you won’t be fighting this alone. For IWill therapy, start sessions through this app link: https://epsyclinic.page.link/ezHe

4. Learn to stop blaming yourself and feeling bad for yourself 

You would want to feel that it’s all your fault, that you are the problem. But this thinking pattern won’t help. Certainly, there may have been things that you could change too, but process them later. Not now... right now you need to heal, and self-blame will stop that process and put you more in a fix! 

5. Plan for new life and believe: you can be successful, you will work this out. You would be happy. Things will fall in place. You need to start thinking like this.. and working for it... therapy will further help in accelerating this! But this is what is true! 100% of all people who had divorced and also who actively believed and tried to improve their life lived happily! 

Divorce is tough. Very rough! No matter even if you wanted to be out of it, still so much is lost that it all hurts and we get it, we understand you... but you can’t be hurting anymore... you can’t let happen what you most disliked... you have to make yourself so happy that the world watches! Let’s aim for recovery! 

Book & Start IWill Therapy Now Online On Play Store App Store

The best online therapy experience
Play Store App Store