When you have both, really bad time & real bad anxiety together, you get pushed to edge!
I was dealing with both, a really bad time and lot of bad anxiety!
I had suffered from health issues, family health issues, relationship issues, financial struggles and lack of growth all at once.
I had become broken, with the pain knocking at my door so much!
This led me to develop bad anxiety!
I always remained in panic. Whenever I would want to do something good, panic will catch hold of me,
I would gasp and pant and feel miserable! I would always imagine the worst. I would never relax. I would always know I will lose things. I will lose opportunities.
Anxiety will exhaust me so much that when I would feel normal, I would do things to make me feel good in the moment, sleep, waste time, do things that just distracted me and gave me an illusion of control!
I had stopped believing myself! I had stopped feeling confident or happy...
Anxiety was breaking me and my tough life was making me believe my anxiety further. It was a vicious cycle and I didn’t know how to come out of it.
I joined IWill therapy as my anxiety was worsening and getting out of control...
The therapist at IWill helped me see how my anxiety, was coming from the bad times, the pain, the fear, the shock all had had a long term impact on how I thought about my life, the fear that things will go wrong came from the same time when things did go wrong.
She helped me in the same time of the past, see how it was not all bad. How despite issues, I had good times, when I tried even then, I succeeded.
Some of the things I lost on, no one has any control and they cannot be reasons for my thinking I am any lesser as they happen to all.
She helped me revisit my assumptions about myself, and my thoughts, and helped me change them.
She helped me think rationally, in the moment for each unfolding situation.
She helped me learn to act and be present and mindful and not let my pain take me to the route of fear!
She also helped me to learn to let go, to allow fear to be watched and not believed.
She helped me with practicing the power of action, of working, or doing things, of being involved in actually taking steps!
She also helped me get more rational with my fears, give it time and revisit it to say if it stays.
She helped me also assert, not let my emotions stay within me in an unhealthy way and rot me from within...
I have overcome my fears.
I am right now doing a lot at the work front.
I am getting proactive with my life!
I am taking one day at a time, learning to relax and let go and not breaking myself in fear of things and “what if”. I have learned to be in the “here and now”.