Why did you marry me if you already had your mom and sister to share your life?

IWILL BLOGS

 1. Why did you marry me if you already had your mom and sister to share your life?

When I asked hi money he said " Mom takes care of the home finances. You too can ask her for what you need, said my husband to me"

Sister and Mother would, since morning, ensure he never talks to me. There would be no space. Discussion on relatives, very random urgent things created daily, gossip about this or that person, makes me feel isolated and even invisible in that setting. Also, a waste in that setting, making me wonder why I was here

When it came to planning or sharing anything, my husband would only involve his mother

 When it came to sharing affection, public love, it was always his mother

 Only the physical love that was his need, he would fulfill with me, and only care for me privately

 I almost feel like I wasn't legitimate in his life.

I almost felt like I was here only for the physicality of it and acting as someone who does their things, organizes, and even becomes his mother and sister's punching bag.

His mother and sister would consistently make me feel like I was not up to their league, they would indirectly and directly compare their family with my parents, only to humiliate me and make me feel insulted and less

 I was beyond depressed. I was alone and I was made to leave my home for this

 My parents were so loving. Their day started with me. No one bothered about what I needed, my happiness, my voice, my rights...

My husband displayed that he didn't need me at all. He needed his mother. He needed his sister. And he had no place to share his life with me... I felt like I was insulted, and the physical pleasure of my husband and some little emotional care he would give me when he was free.

 I got depressed. I got lonely. I got humiliated daily. I got broken each day. I was slowly dying every day... i was anxious every day

I had to join IWill therapy as marriage is so permanent, and I had started loving my husband even before marriage. He had a lot of time for me. But when I got married, things changed like they did.

It was in therapy at IWill that my therapist first helped me see that it wasn't a judgment on me if my husband and his family didn't know what my role was. It was a judgment on them. So first, there's no way because of me.

Second, she helped me speak out and vent out all the pain, and it was so important to release all the negative emotions that were eating me up. She helped me assert, she helped me focus on myself, my career, and she helped me assert.

She helped me ask and point out things to my husband that were wrong, and she helped me see that being afraid will only break me... further in this situation...

 She helped me reconnect with my friends and loved ones and not be there all day at my in-laws' place to witness a faulty dynamic...

 I also got the courage to speak to my parents and share the emotional void and gaps I was facing.

It stopped breaking me daily as I got more involved in things that made me see I am an individual. My husband started noticing changes, and initially, rather than understanding me, he attacked me for being indifferent and showing an attitude

 And then when I told him calmly that it wasn't an attitude...

what if he was in my home and I just cared to spend the night with him.

What if I were still at my parents, not here as his wife, what if I would ignore him in front of my parents like he did all the time... I asked him to live one day in my home like his and then ask me if it was attitude or just Pain and struggling to survive

He said he too wanted to join IWill therapy with me for couple sessions and understand what was wrong.... We are starting couple therapy soon to see if something can be fixed

 But the reality is the pain of being alone. The pain of being in a relationship where my husband didn't need a wife won't go so easily... it has scarred and broken my innocence. It had broken my trust and my faith in life.... the emptiness and the isolation and the irrelevance I have faced will affect me for quite some time

 A man should never get married if he doesn't have space for his wife. If all he has is a space for his own mother and sister, who he lives with anyway... why break a woman's heart for this... why make a complete loved human being who was the heart of her family feel like furniture or a discarded toy

I'm glad I took IWill therapy and healed myself and atleast have started taking my career seriously... and not just feeling like I deserved all this poor treatment and hate

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