IWill

IWill 2021-10-28 10:17 - 4 minute read

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Worst betrayal is when husband treats wife as outsider & shows hesitation to love her 

IWill blogs

I got married to Ajay. I had so many expectations from my marriage life. He had made so many promises to keep me happy. 

I thought he would love me the most. His affection towards me will only increase as we start living together! 

 

But all his promises broke down when I got to his home!

 

On the very first day he was asked to go for some work. And he went, leaving me all alone there!

The next day, he didn’t sit with me because he was constantly seeing what others were saying and reacting. 

He would always ignore me. 

He would appreciate others if he said one good thing to me to balance out!

He would make plans with others, of work and he never told me! I had no power to stop him, to change his plans. He just announced them on me, isolating me at any time!

He would take sides of his family, even when they said something that was hurtful!

He would ask me to respect, adjust; be good to his family as they meant everything to him. But he never gave me the confidence that I was anything to him! He never asked others to respect me or be nice to me! Even when they were always isolating me, always telling me how I wasn’t enough! 

 

There was so much of politics! 

There was so much of dislike and attacks!

There was so much of showing me down and as so less in my husband’s life!

 

I had never felt so betrayed in life!

I had never felt more like an outsider anywhere! 

 

This was the worst betrayal! 

I kept thinking of his promises, of his love for me before marriage and how this was a man completely in control of his family negatively, treating me as though I didn’t exist anymore!

 

I wanted an escape! But I was emotionally drained! I would feel I was dying at every moment! 

 

I joined IWill therapy and it was here that I learnt to stop crying, and assert for myself! 

I learnt to not feel as though my existence is over if my husband didn’t give me attention! 

I learnt to focus on my goals, have a plan for the day and not just look at my husband and how he was ignoring me at every step! 

 

My husband too insisted on sorting our problems out and joined iwill therapy! 

 

It was in therapy that my husband could understand my emotions, his missed promises, how he had the full right and responsibility to love me! 

 

She helped him see if I had done the same thing, that is promised the world of love and togetherness but then because of my family ignored him, always made to feel him less than others or give him less time to show love to others, or apologize for spending time with him, how would he have felt? 

Would this feeling be not heartbreaking and self-respect destroying? If yes, then this is what was happening to me too! 

And this needed to stop! I was the same! I was a family! I was no less than anyone else. Rather my responsibility and of making a new life was now on him!

He started changing drastically in therapy and living up to his promises of loving me, not feeling ashamed of giving me time, not leaving me alone suddenly, or making me feel like I had no say in his life!

Things have changed a lot for me and therapy has helped remove the mental trauma! But one thing goes without saying, it’s not ok to treat your wife as an outsider after promising her to be the closest! 

It is betrayal and it breaks a heart and causes immense pain and suffering that changes a woman’s outlook! 

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