IWill

IWill 2021-12-29 03:21 - 2 minute read

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Worst is to be around people who attack but pretend to be good in front of others

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Have you eaten food? Please eat well. Take care.. (This when people are around)

to

Not talking to me, or asking me questions that hurt me like my failed promotion, some random comment on what someone said about me, how I worked or looked, I was living with people who loved faking a good image around others, to show that they were big-hearted, comfortable and good with me... While when alone, they never left a stone unturned to make me doubt myself, feel bad about myself, feel isolated, and feel not worth it...

 

This was making me bleed emotionally...

I was choked at their drama, I was fearful of living with them, I was hurt of being treated like this and I was misunderstood at the top of it... If I said this to someone else, to get their help, they would blame me for being not adjusting, for being difficult and feeling bad, or being sensitive unnecessarily... 

 

I was lost... I was tired of being seen as wrong when I was the one who was the victim.

I just couldn't act like them... I couldn't attack them... I wasn't the person... I felt hopeless, didn't feel like getting up in the morning, felt so choked and unhappy from within

 

I joined IWill therapy just to share how badly I was being treated, how two-faced were people around and I wanted to ask why...

It was in therapy that my therapist helped me understand that it was nothing to do with me.. Some people who are insecure or don't want to be with someone yet want to protect their social image, and look good in front of others, adopt this behavior.

 

She helped me assert, speak, and confront such people there and then, without drama and yet assertively.

She helped me also focus on myself, away from such toxic people and from their drama.

She helped me also draw my boundaries and make sure that I am not available for this dual abuse...

At some point in therapy, my loved one too joined IWill therapy and the therapist help him observe this behavior too. How when he took my side or attention, the mask would fall off. And slowly he started to see how I wasn't treated well and didn't deserve what I was getting...

 

I am glad I had IWill to help me fight depression, learn to stand up for self and also help my partner see that which I was facing...

It's the worst pain to be around people who attack you for no reason and then pretend to be good in front of others. 

Surabhi Khandelwal

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