Worst pain is feeling lonely in this world even when you have everyone

IWill Blogs

 I was sitting in a room full of people

 The discussion was my sister in law's babies party planning

 How my husband and his brother should have a better career..

What to be done for Ensuring my mother in law is happy

 I spoke about my headache and discussion went back to how my mother-in-law, too, had a very severe headache and needed care

 Then the topic was on everyone else and my role was only to contribute to what was being discussed

This was not just today. It was every day. Every day, the Conversations, the work, the wellbeing, the pain, the health issues

 Anything that mattered to me was never discussed. It was all about them. They saw my role as that of being subservient, of enabling their goals, and being there just for their needs

 No one had time to listen to my wins. Those would be ignored. No one had time to listen to why I was sad. It was considered overacting or something that someone already had and needed care for. My goals were never discussed

 My needs were never a priority. My voice was ignored

 My presence was never acknowledged, and if I said something, I would be told examples of other women and how i was being so unreasonable and selfish

Waking up in this house felt like a bad dream, and my reality was becoming that of neglect, hurt, and complete ignorance.

 I felt unseen, unheard, demotivated, completely unwilling to do anything for myself, humiliated, and felt neglected.

 I would cry each day. I felt like not meeting nor talking to anyone

 I felt all the time a need to sleep and not even exist.

 I joined IWill therapy, and it was here that, during the assessment itself, I came to know I do have clinically severe depression

My therapist at IWill helped me understand that depression can happen when the environment doesn't support our individual growth, doesn't have space for us, and the loneliness of being with people and yet being ignored can hurt beyond imagination

 She helped me come to terms with the fact that I needed to stand up for myself,

I needed to spend time with people who valued me, be in a group of circle of people who respect me and help me thrive and can listen to my stories, comfort me in pain, and be there for me

 She also helped me learn to assert and point out to people in my inlaws home that I mattered, my wellbeing was important. I needed my space.

She also helped me set my goals and would motivate me when I did something good, care about my milestones and my day to day plans

I started spending time with my friends. I started asserting and saying no and respecting my boundaries. I made it a point to be always doing things that were Linked to my goals, my work, my wellbeing

I started taking care of me, getting back in shape, working towards my goals and becoming my best version

Since I was spending time with people who valued me, I also became more confident, happier and started feeling seen

 I feel so much better now, happier and in comfort

 It's important to identify your worth and be amongst people who value you, otherwise, depression due to loneliness can set in. And that is the worst feeling.

 I am so glad I found IWill and the help I needed

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