Worst pain is to live with people who do everything to break your mental health
You know how mental health issues are caused?
Many times they are caused by long-standing pain created by loneliness, or denial of love, or denial of respect, an outsider treatment, and only selfishness!
All of this was done to me by “supposedly my loved ones and family”
1. I was an outsider to them. I was just there.. no affection, no fun.. no stories... everyone was happy amongst themselves... they didn’t need me... they didn’t even try to need me or listen to me... I felt like a FURNITURE ignored and hollow!
2. I was lonely... I was the competition point. Just because I had a personality, things others didn’t approve of, they completely isolated me... started making assumptions about me that were untrue... my own loved one would be scared to sit too long with me... they didn’t want to give a feeling that “they changed”.... while changing my life to utter darkness and deep sense of unrest!
3. Denial of respect and love
Oh you do things this way?
Oh that’s all you earn?
Oh you can’t contribute ?
Oh you were not coming... work is more important?
Such and more things all the time! Oh you didn’t do this right. So and so felt bad... you are still only getting this much, that’s really low salary.... I was always compared to others... minutely reminded of how I was less and so was my respect!
4. Oh let’s cook paranthas in ghee for Jyoti’s husband and family... remaining including all of us can eat the ones with oil... this was said when my parents were there too! You tell me is this normal?
To be sitting there and not saying anything because next would be that I would be labelled as trouble maker, was impacting my mental Health
I had been in deep depression! Lonely, crying, hurting, wanting to speak out but always unable to... and more hollow!
Did I deserve it?
If you weren’t prepared, I never said make me a part of your family!
If you were so insecure, you should have never got someone in your life!
If you were so rigid, how did you expect others to change!
I was so broken! I started iwill therapy and after getting better, healing, and learning my worth and that I shouldn’t care of my assertion as seen as problematic, I still neeed to speak!
I called out the bad behavior!
When someone would say a think about my career, I would remind them that what was their history and that I wasn’t comfortable in being nit picked!
When they treated me as an outsider, I stopped being a part of this... why should I come and be at a place that has no space for me!
Rather than crying at home, I made a world for myself... A job, many videos of my talent, friends and a life of joy... I didn’t need 5 people deciding fate even when they were my family...
Full respect for them but not for the trauma and abuse they subjected me to!
If you are going through a mess like me, it will be difficult alone, seek therapy at IWill or just take help! You need someone to support you because the family is the one breaking you! It can be therefore a tough battle along with depression! Once out, keep your mental health as your priority