IWill

IWill 2022-01-13 03:18 - 2 minute read

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Worst pain is when a man only has EGO with his wife. I had to move on

Sania Mishra

My husband was the nicest person in the room except for when he was with me...

He loved spending time with others in the family, friends but with me, he always pretended like he didn't want to talk. 

He would do things for others, but when it came to me, he expected me to run around the whole day to do things and forget help, he never even offered it. 

If I would say something, his ego would get so hurt that he would give the complete silent treatment or get angry and not listen.

It was great fun for him I guess to ignore me!

He would always feel bad if I said something or asserted... 

In our arguments, the way he took offense and wanted to feel superior would hurt me a lot!

If I did something against his wish or even tried to, the way he did DRAMA was just so fear striking and also unbearable... I had stopped taking my decisions out of this fear

 

I was really feeling cornered, isolated, less, discriminated and really hurt... I also had immense fear within me of his reactions, immense shame around he treated me... I felt really stuck, unhappy, always worried "WHAT IF OTHERS FIND OUT HOW HE TREATS ME"

 

I felt scared "I HOPE NO ONE IN MY FAMILY KNOWS, THIS WILL BE TOO INSULTING" 

 

The ego of a partner like this is the worst... You lose all confidence... 

 

I joined IWill therapy, not knowing what to do... I wanted someone to speak to... I was so weak within me... I didn't know what is the next step... My abuse at home was breaking me... 

 

First, in therapy, she helped me see my own importance. helped me focus on career and achiever there... With all the depression, I couldn't have done it otherwise...

 

With that strength, she then helped me start asserting, start telling people around me what I was going through... Start fearlessly talking to a man I was married to...

There was drama, back and forth but eventually, I understood, he wasn't going to change and I deserved a life better than this... 

A relationship where there was no respect for me... No love for me... I wasn't going to be a part of it... I took that decision myself... And therapy helped me navigate through this.

 

Today I have a job, I am living on my own...

People said things about me but they don't matter...

At least I am living without fear, without discrimination,  without that CONTINOUS TOXIC SILENT AND SECONDARY TREATMENT THAT WAS GIVEN TO ME... 

I am glad I could move away... 

Sania Mishra

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