Worst pain is when your tears and your hurt means nothing for your loved one. 

IWill blogs

I cried all night and my loved one said that enough of this drama, I will leave your room and he walked out!

I was sitting all alone inside and they said, she is like that only, doesn't like to mix up.

I would be feeling ignored as no one would be talking to me, I would not be a part of the conversation and then when I felt bad, I was attacked for being not family like enough, not a good this or that.

 

My tears had no value.

My pain was a drama.

My sadness was pretention.

My existence was a problem

The worst pain, even worst than the action of hurting me and ignoring me, was this pain of indifference and attack on my sadness, my expression, further breaking me down.

I needed to get out, reply back, have strength to say no and never come back but I didn't have the courage.

I was so much in pain and acceptance that I was so poorly treated and getting out, the thought of it was breaking me.

I joined IWill therapy and I started learning assertion, started learning to keep my self respect high, to not beg from those who attacked me in the first place, to immediately start getting social and around people who cared.

She helped me first change my life, build support system around, taking baby steps towards my growth and learn to be confident.

She also helped me see it was them, they were not sensitive enough, I wasn't attracting this bad behavior

I stopped crying and started acting.

I wasn't at their mercy anymore.

 

Today I am not with those people who caused me so much harm and hurt. I need and deserve better people, people who value my smile, not those who are so insensitive to attack me even with pain and tears.

I deserve better and much better!