IWill 2021-11-29 11:48 - 6 minute read

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Yes I love my wife most & this doesn’t make me a bad son! Glad I can accept this now!

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Yes, I will go with her on my birthday because I want to spend this time with her. I feel happy. When I was young, I would go out with friends, no one stopped me because you knew it made me happy, right now time with Shweta makes me really happy!

I don’t mind cooking for her at all! She cooks for me and I do for her. It’s mutual!

Yes, I want to spend time with her. And no dear sister, it doesn’t make me any less in love with mummy! Why do you want to spend time with your fiancé alone! Why do you talk to him so much?

Emotions are the same everywhere! Don’t be so judgmental and unfair!

I want to take care of her. She brings me happiness and I don’t want this to change at all!

She is most important to me now, yes! Like I am most important to her! Yes, I love everyone as much, but loving her is not against others! We have to live forever together! I feel good around her! My happiness should make everyone happy! I am not apologetic or loving my own wife!

This was me Vishal, talking about my wife Shweta to my family!
I was married to Shweta, a woman I met in college and fell head over heels in love!
I was really looking forward to getting married to her and spend my time with her!

I also happen to be the only son of the family: I do have a sister but she too relied a lot on me!

When I introduced my family to Shweta, I could see my mom and sister and everyone else felt uncomfortable! I didn’t understand why... but I was guessing it was because she was from a different region, and she was very open, cheerful, ambitious, beautiful, and not necessarily the one who believed she was any less than a man!

But as marriage was about to get close, there was a lot of discussion on how I was leaving my family behind, how I was now forgetting everyone, there was a lot of talk on my duties and how mother comes first...

I loved my mom and my sister a lot too. And so I started praising them a lot more, giving them attention to make them feel better!

When I got married, I was already so cautious that I didn’t even realize but because of this fear that they will get upset or say something to Shweta that I started ignoring her. I wouldn’t talk to her around others, listen to her less, give others more importance, cancel our plans when someone objected and do things I had never done with her...

Things went pretty bad between us. She felt she had married the wrong person as I wasn’t even the person she had dated! We fought more, everyone around would say how she was so nonadjusting and really not like other good wives which would trigger me and things would get even worse!

Our marriage, our lives were on a point of a complete collapse, and I was scrolling through Facebook when I read this article “my wife is here for me”. I read about couple therapy with this platform called IWill. It felt like someone here could help!

And it was here I could see the mistake I was doing.

If someone was feeling insecure, I needed to address that wrong feeling as opposed to ignoring my love and my wife, and increase pain at a time when I and she deserved most love!

That she had and I had promised each other world of happiness. She was here ready to give it to me but I had somehow missed the promise because of fear!

That factually I was becoming a less good family member these days as I was always unhappy, fighting, and also getting internally upset with my family... I needed to rather not do things that made me so unhappy from within!
That my wife was my biggest responsibility right now as I was hers and we needed to preserve a blissful relationship, that laughter, that love that we had which is so rare!

I am glad I joined therapy.. I am glad I spoke and took help. I am glad my wife too joined despite being unsure...

I am a good son, I am a good brother ! And that shouldn’t come in the way of me being a good husband! I realized!

Vishal Mishra

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