Humiliation by family members is the worst and can cause depression.

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“You don’t contribute any money. We are so tired of you. You are good for nothing”

“You have disappointed us. we are so unhappy. Look at others, they do so much, and you are just not able to understand your responsibilities”. 

“We don’t do things like this here in our home. This doesn’t work in my home. You have to learn our ways...we won’t have it any other way”

“You should spend less time on things that you did before marriage.. your work, your parents all come second. You are more of this house, and you should be how we want you to be”

“You have no common sense. How do you even work at office? I am surprised how do people tolerate you”

 

“You look so fat these days. Why don’t you spend your time doing something good? Look at your friends, everyone is better than you, more obedient, more capable”

These are some of the statements different clients have shared to describe the daily humiliation and pain they receive at the hands of their own family or loved ones... 

Family is believed to be the source of love, strength and support. 

But when your own family members due to their own unresolved life issues, thinking processes,es, and faulty beliefs, start attacking a loved one going through a tough time or pushing a loved one in crisis, it can be very damaging, extremely toxic, extremely painful, isolating and frustrating! 

 

The impact and damage on one’s mental health 

Humiliation by family can cause severe self-worth issues and self-belief issues

Humiliation by family can cause emotional crisis and demotivating. You don’t want to try because your family someway supports you. 

Humiliation by family can cause deep hurt due to a feeling that no one understands or loves me 

Humiliation by family leads to faithlessness 

Humiliation by family impacts very personal emotions causing Deep unsettling distress 

 

What to do if this is happening to me?

1. Try and Stop judging yourself: even if it’s your family attacking you, it’s not necessarily correct. It’s their faulty pattern, their childhood learning or bad trauma patterns that they are passing on to you, families are not perfect and so can’t be their feedback!

2. Assert and draw boundaries: even when you may have done things that they were disproving of, you can set a timeline of fixing these and stopping of abuse randomly on these points. This is not a license for someone to bash you whenever they think it’s right.

3. Communicate openly and effectively: if you feel they are not seeing your side, they are not able to understand your situation! Speak your story up! Say your hurt, open, label, loud and clear. 

4. Seek therapy for depression and healing: You may have lost your way to function normally. You may have accumulated guilt, hurt, pain, depression, and signs of it are sadness, hopelessness, loneliness, inability to work, to feel good. If you are going through all of this and have lost yourself, are choked, seek therapy. Therapy will a professional psychologist will allow you to unbox your deepest pains, the conflicting thoughts that confuse you and bother you and shut you, your mixed emotions that keep breaking you, your inability to process what you are dealing with and why can all be helped by a therapist! A therapist at iwill can help you make sense of all the hurt, chaos, missed expectations and move on from it and grow out of it, faster and much more effective than anything else. 

It’s the worst pain to be isolated, abused, hurt by people who you think would support you no matter how tough going gets! It’s important to raise awareness of how to escape the pain, stand back up for self, and rather than giving up on self, build self again, despite the disappointment!