IWill

IWill 2023-04-24 01:02 - 4 minute read

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As a husband who loves and supports his wife, I face isolation and constant attacks too. But I don't care anymore about this 

Priyanshu Goel

Now a days my sister and my younger brother get all the attention.. They are treated better and I am ignored.

On normal things every day, I hear comments and sarcasm like "should we even expect anything from you?", " we won't involve you since you won't have time" '"your opinion we didn't take because anyways you don't have your opinion anymore".

 

Remarks like "we didn't expect you would change so much", "you only care about one person and you have forgotten everyone else".

 

Comments like " we had such high hopes from you but now you have no power", "you don't even belong to this family, sometimes it feels like this".

Comments like "you should stay at your in-laws place only. They are more your parents now"

And all these things said and done to me are so strange, toxic and alienating.

As a son i have done a lot for my family, I have stood for everyone's happiness, I had done things for their education, helped whenever they needed me. But why are they doing this to me.

They doing this to me because I choose to now support and love my wife.

I accept her and give her the place that she deserves in my life. 

I spend time with her and I don't disrespect her. I value her presence in my life and her individuality.

I dont allow others to treat her like secondary anymore. And ever since i have done this, I have come in the bad books of everyone.

When me and my wife got married, everyone would tell me how she should do this and that for the family, how she should please others and serve everyone and be the best wife, because that's what good wives do. How I should not give attention to her that's too much or else people would say I have changed. 

And initially any little attention to her, people would scare me that I am changing, I am not doing how it should be and with all of this, I without thinking kept following.

 

My wife a person just like me, pampered and educated was getting isolated, treated like no matter what her potential was, in this home, she was just less than everyone. She became so depressed and unlike herself. 

We joined IWill therapy as a couple. And it was within sessions, I realised, I was denying my wife of the place she deserves. She was here for me. She was just someone's child like I am. Like i deserve the best, she deserved it too. And this avoidance, and this expectation that she is here to serve others was so wrong.

 

She was here with me for love, not ignorance of others.

She was here with me for respect, not arrogance of others 

She was here with me for companionship, not competition with others.

She was here with me for happiness, not for hypocrisy of others.

 

As through IWill therapy and in our life, I started doing basic for my wife. I saw that everyone changed for me. Suddenly i wasn't their favorite, Suddenly my success didn't make them happy. There was so much change in them for me that it was shocking.

That's when I realised if as a son I am facing this isolation, what all must have my wife went through and that's when I realised even more the need to be with her.

I feel bad for what I am going through but i wont desert my wife anymore. I know this is a price i am paying but to gain back attention as a son, I won't accept toxicity for my wife.

Priyanshu Goel

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