Depression in homemakers is a direct result of loneliness and lack of appreciation. And this needs to change

Sudhanshu

 

Why do you need help for taking care of the kids? What do you even do?

Oh please don't tell me why your mood is off. You were home all day. I face real struggles.

I don't have the energy to talk to you and entertain you after a long tiring day. You don't even what I go through. 

So many women today work outside and manage home as well.its an amazing quality.

What will you do ? You won't understand these things. Let me handle this.

Whole day is there for you, maid comes and cleans. I don't know what is it that makes you tired.

There is nothing that you contribute for this home. I am tired of you

I would say all of these things to my homemaker wife. She started getting quieter, would cry more and be irritable.

Initially I only further blamed her for these emotions. But when things got really out of hands and could see how visibly unwell she was, 

We started her iwill therapy and I joined sessions too.

It was here in iwill therapy that I realised once when I was asked to just stay at home for 2 days

1. Even when there was help, I couldn't sit for 2 minutes. I was constantly working.

2. Taking care of kids having no one to talk to and just being alone was so isolating.

3. By the first evening, I wanted to go out but babies had to be taken care of and I couldn't 

4. I couldn't even rest properly because something or the other would come up.

5. And the worst part, in this role play, my wife repeated things I said. She said I didn't do anything, there was no appreciation. I had just a rough day and nothing was asked.

I felt invisible, overworked, burdened, lonely and caged just in 2 days.

It was such an eye opener and I felt so apologetic for what I was doing with my wife.

I was ashamed of how much I ignored, not helped my wife

My iwill therapist also helped me see how I was rewarded, motivated, appreciated for my work outside, how I got special treatment at home and from others.

And how my wife only got questions, thanklessness, and attacks and isolation for doing all she did.

My wife has through iwill learnt how to pursue self goals, become social, assert and be living for self.

And I have learnt to be with her, support her, appreciate her and really thank for all that she does for me.

Homemaker depression is real. And it's caused due to our negligence, of not seeing that we are nothing if our woman isn't there for us.

Never will I ever disrespect her again. I really am sorry for pain she went through because of me.

Homemakers are backbones of our society, a woman whether working or not, needs support, love and no isolation