If you are not ready to love and stand up for respect of your wife or husband, don’t marry

IWill blogs

So many individuals in Iwill therapy are depressed because they have been repeatedly hurt, insulted, ignored and made to feel secondary by their spouse.

And this is painful.

There are three things that a person deserves from their relationship. Without having these, without committing to these one shouldn’t marry...

Because marriage by default is important and one of the most relationship! It demands that you make your loved one a part of your life.

Without committing to these 3 things, please don’t marry

1. If you don’t have time, don’t marry
You have work
You have friends
You have family
And if this is the excuse you don’t have time or don’t want to give time for your wife or husband, it doesn’t hold up.

When you commit to marriage; you commit to make a good proportion of time and space for your partner. You are forming the single most important relationship and the foundation of this would be time spent together with love and happiness
 

Denying your partner that which is their right can bring in loneliness, depression and pain in them.
They didn’t sign up for this.
You didn’t sign up for this. If you did not know that a spouse has a right on your time, probably you shouldn’t have taken this step of marrying. Now that you have, you cannot deny them this!

2. If you can’t ensure respect for them, don’t marry

So your partner is being thrashed by people around you or you don’t respect their opinions, preferences and think it’s normal.

 

No it’s not. 

 

Your wife or husband’s respect in your home is your prerogative. No one has the right to criticise them for their values and make them feel less! No one has the right to do that. 

And if that is happening you need to stand up. 

 

Asking your partner to change is unfair. 

Asking your partner to adjust is unfair 

Asking your partner to be ok with harassment. With sarcasm in the name of being a good family member is incorrect

It scares them, it scars them and it is not right!

If you can’t ensure respect or your own spouse, you shouldn’t marry them in the first place 

 

3. Treating them secondary is not right... 

you think you can treat your spouse secondary and that is ok!

Yes you have your relationships, your existing family but if they are always going to be mine and the spouse is always going to be they or an outsider, you never really understand what marriage is all about!

Marriage makes you we first!

You become the core family!

No one should have a space between you two!

No one should be able to manipulate you. No one should be able to come in between you two! And if this is not what it is and it’s actually the opposite of this, then you are literally being Emotionally abusive and unfair To your spouse, something they don’t deserve, something you cannot do to them!

 

Yes there are many reasons for depression and yes relationship issues is one of them. But to see so many people in therapy at iwill simply because someone who they married to didn’t even acknowledge the basic bond of marriage, that is painful!

 

Of course they come out of depression and make a better life for themselves , they stand up and in many cases their partners see the change too, but what is wrong, still needs to be said

 

If your spouse can’t be your priority

If their respect is not yours and vice versa

If you can’t treat each other as first family. You are better off not Marrying  just as yet