IWill 2023-05-27 12:08 - 4 minute read

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My husband thought I will break after divorce. He is shocked to see my life now 

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My ex-husband stalks me everywhere

He is shocked to see that I have a job and am not crying at home.

He is shocked to see how me and my son vacation so much, we are enjoying our life.

He is shocked to see how I gave first down payment of my home. And could do that in less than 2 years.

He is shocked to see how I take care of myself and my health and don't let anything break me.

My husband and I had a divorce after 8 years of marriage and a baby.

When I got married to him, I had dedicated my life to our relationship. 

My husband, love and care for him had become my priority. And he also wanted me to dedicate and be there for him 24 7. But at the same time he never wanted to be there for me.

He had so much ego. He never wanted to take care of me. He expected me to even bring glass of water for him. If I would be tired, he had no regard for it. He was also highly obsessive, he didn't like me talking to my brother, family, sister or for that matter my friends.

At in the same time, he had relationships with all of his family and wanted me to serve all of them. His family especially my father in law was very toxic. He believed and instigated my husband to always behave poorly with me. He would openly stop him from helping even a little bit.

My life had become living hell. And then we had a child. I expected that having a child will bring some empathy in his mind for his son's mother. But nothing like this happened. He didn't participate even on the basic care of the child. And his family kept lifting his ego. He would be out with friends, drinking, socialising and when home he wanted me to serve him irrespective of I having motherly duties.

And then when I started asserting, he would threaten me with divorce. Having had enough, I didn't know what to do.

I was alone in this marriage. With serving alone and no love for me.

I was so tired and broken.

I joined IWill therapy. It was here that my therapist helped me repair my broken sense of self. She helped me see that I didn't have to be so weak, that I needed to assert, that I needed to prioritize self as well.

Its been 8 years of only broken emotions and hiding my scars from the world to make it look like a happy marriage. Therapy gave me so much strength.

And then one day I decided to take his threat seriously. I told him I was ready for divorce. He was shocked to see the change in me.

But when he could see I was serious and as i left for my parents and throughout the process, he kept reminding me of how I was nothing without him, how my life would be over. This tough time was made more tough by his constant reminder of what he thought of me.

But I had been working on my mental health, i had my son who was my motivation and a family ready to support. 

Even I thought I'll be nothing without him but he didn't realise and neither did I, that it was his toxicity breaking me. But I didn't realise strength of happiness, of doing right for self, of not tolerating wrong. I am glad I proved everyone wrong.

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