My support for my pregnant wife is most important for her emotional health. I realized 

Siddhartha Subramaniam

Your wife is not the first woman to get pregnant.

I know she isn't. But we are parents together... I am the only one for her... I can't expect others to be here...

 

Why is she always so sad.... you must tell her. Having a baby is a big joy...

Surely she knows this, more than anyone... As you all say, mothers know the best... Still, she is unhappy because she has depression... It happens... She is worried for her future, changes in her body are causing mood issues, she is going through a lot... Rather than judging her or blaming her, I would rather want to be with her... 

 

You can't leave for your work for your pregnant wife. Can you 

If needed yes, I can...But for now, I will spend a lot of time with her...

She and I are extending our family together... I don't want to lose her to pain and agony or to the anguish that she too has an unsupportive partner...

 

You are overdoing your wife's care...

I don't understand what am I overdoing... She is expected to be thinking 24*7 of the kid, do things for him/her, take care of every aspect, do this and not that for the baby... Surely I need to also take care of my baby and my wife... I just spend time with her or ensure she is relaxed and happy... Is that not the duty of a father or a husband?

 

I, Siddhartha had changed a lot and understood what truly being a spouse meant... 

My wife was in depression due to pregnancy and all the changes and lack of understanding, tough situations she went through...

She was really sad, she would always cry, feel like doing nothing and she was not doing anything to seek anyone's attention... She was really breaking within her heart and everyone including me initially thought why should be so unhappy when we have the best gift in life...

I didn't understand why was she sad... Why was she feeling so fearful...

 

Concerned, I started her therapy at IWill... It was in therapy I could see her fears...

 

She wasn't pregnant alone... She was expected to do things as a mother all the time, without the thought that the TOLL IS ON HER BODY. 

She wasn't supposed to worry about lack of support from me and fears of her career and life... I needed to assure her, comfort her... 

When her body and fears for her baby's safety were making her depressed, she wasn't supposed to defend herself or be attacked when it was her who was in pain... 

I realized that my wife needed love... I couldn't even imagine what she was going through and so best I could be by her side, lessen her fears, make the journey less lonely for her...

With my support and therapy, she started feeling ok...

Her pain and sadness started to decrease, she could speak to me about her fears and she felt less judged and more supported...

A healthy family starts with a loved and healthy wife... I realized what needed to be my priority... 

 

Siddhartha Subramaniam

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