My wife doesn’t have to be liked by my family, to be loved by me. I understood that.

iwill user

I and my wife suffered a lot emotionally.!

Rather I would say, I had made my wife suffer. 

Ours was a love marriage. I used to like everything about my wife when she and I were dating in college. With a lot of difficulties, I convinced my parents to make our marriage happen. 

But after our marriage, no one in my family really liked my choice. 

 

She was independent. she was pampered. And she expected this to be just like her parent’s home. She wanted my time, wanted to have fun.

 

The very qualities that I loved in her, soon started to look problematic. 

 

Everyone would say your wife is too immature. She controls you. You are forgetting others. Look how much other son’s of the family still do for their homes. They are more successful because they are more social and not just sitting with wife. 

 

Slowly these words and discussions day in and day out started to make me feel angry, as though my wife was wrong, unfair, her love that brought happiness to be started feeling like being Control. 

My wife and I drew apart. She would cry, be in pain, feel hurt, and we would have fights and everyone would say further how my wife was “with attitude”, “very nonadjusting” so on and so forth! 

Things got so bad that we would just be fighting!

She was in depression and she started iwill.. I joined with her for therapy too.

It was in therapy I could challenge my own faulty assumptions. I thought I was modern, equality believing yet when it came to my wife, conservative and maybe faulty views of my family started to take over! 

My family could have been insecure, may have never seen or expected a woman to have such a high place in my life, whatever were their reasons, they couldn’t have and shouldn’t have become mine too! 

She had become an engineer like me. Her family loved her so much. They pampered her. I pampered her so much. It was that promise of love, we were in it together for..

I learned that it’s wrong to disrespect your wife for other’s views! It’s so wrong to ignore her since others want you to! You marry her for companionship!

Therapy helped me see my own faulty assumptions, belief systems that were a problem! I am glad I could learn from my mistake, change..

My wife’s hurt will take time to heal but I will make that happen... I would love her and take care of her so that she can eventually forget the pain trauma of the past 6 months and my ignorance caused her .