Narcissists only care about their happiness, their ego and keep destroying you for it.

IWill blogs

I never knew what a narcissist was until I lived with a family of narcissists!

 From the very first day on, I could see that they suffered from a superiority complex. They kept talking about how great they were and making me feel like I was too small or that I needed to be in awe of them! 

They would not like me getting any attention. They would throw drama, behave strangely when someone made me feel like I was special too. They would block attention on me. 

 

They would also have big egos.

They could say anything, they wanted things to move according to them, and if at all I wanted something to happen according to me, that was against their wish, they would create such a big scene! 

They would also pretend to be really good in front of others. Like they were the most modern, ahead, cultured. Nice people in this world. 

 

I was feeling so isolated, so attacked, tired of their self praises, tired of their jealousy, tired of how they brought me down. 

Narcissists can destroy anyone. And they did destroy me. 

 

The whole family thought of themselves as if no one was anything around them. I started having self-doubt, they would also randomly pretend to be good. 

They had made me confused about my emotions: if I cried I was weak if I smiled, I was childish if I wanted attention, I was selfish; if I wanted to love, I was expecting something totally that I didn’t deserve!

They had messed up with my emotional space. If really felt completely lost and stuck in pain. I hated my days and had no happiness. I was drained with constant attacks, competition, ego, constant “GYAN”. 

I joined IWill therapy to manage my emotional mess. It was in therapy that I got someone after a long time who didn’t judge me and who could understand what I was really going through. 

The therapist helped me get my strength and first learn to not seek validation or judge or hurt myself basis their behavior. The therapist helped me to stop judging my life and self-worth basis how this group treated me. 

She helped me stop expecting them to change or feel bad or be insulted for their actions. As they were a dysfunctional family and it was not my failure, that they were like this. 

Also, their love, their time, how they spoke to me, was reflecting on them, not me!

First, she helped me focus back on myself. The first step was my career and my personal life. She helped me start meeting my friends again, taking care of my mental health. 

She helped me assert, respond back and cut the drama of narcissists! I didn’t have to be scared of their big egos! I didn’t have to sacrifice my mental health being scared of them, being afraid of them! 

I started taking my pride back! I stopped getting scared of drama! I gave a damn for their attention! I was out of the toxic mess 

Narcissists and a group of narcissists can break you and make you feel like you are just not worthy! But it’s them, NOT YOU!