Rules for daughter in law & son are totally different from daughter and son in law! Logic?

IWill blogs

Hypocrisy 

They should get more time together
Vs
Giving her more time means she is breaking the family

She needs rest and she needs to be taken care of. She is our daughter
Vs
We too got married. Why does she need special treatment?

It’s so good my son in law takes care of my daughter. She works too. It’s nice to have a partner who cares. That’s what we feel happy with.

Vs
I pity my son. He works in the kitchen too. Never in his life has he cooked. Some men do like it and they have that personality. But our son only worked outside. He is a different profile. His entire personality is being destroyed.

Come to us beta. This is your home. And we miss you
Vs
What can we do? She just doesn’t know to make her in laws home her own. She is only of her parents... we can’t do anything

My son in law loves my daughter so much.
Vs
My son has to keep a boundary.  This is unacceptable that we raised him and he changes so much. I am never going to accept this.

Our daughter is the best person. If they have problems with her, it’s them.
Vs
Daughter in law is so opinionated. Families don’t work like this. We were also educated that doesn’t mean you don’t know what a daughter-in-law is supposed to do, and how she should listen to others and respect and see that she is not equivalent to my son.

Impact on ME
This hypocrisy is what I faced. I faced it in the same roles!
I was shocked to see how naked was the discrimination.!
I could see how everything my sister-in-law does and wants, and want to study and do, she is always right... but in my case, no stone was unturned to isolate me!

My husband too was so scared or so ok to let this hypocrisy go unchecked.
He couldn’t say a word to his mom and his sister. There was such a scare of drama, anger, and cold vibes in him that he rather hurt me for this.


I became depressed, angry, completely at loss of respect at such hypocrisy!
And even if they had their views of what a woman should be, I didn’t agree to them. Their double standards had no logic, only were fueled by their need to control.

I had lost my happiness and I was not ok in taking such abusive hypocrisy.

Joining IWill therapy

I joined IWill therapy and first had individual sessions. Whatever was in my heart and being filled with resentment, I could speak that and also learn the art to assert, stand up for myself, to also not be ridden by fear, and do what was right!

She helped me feel better, stand up for myself, focus on self, get on with my career too and not feel intimated by other’s remarks!

My husband joined couple therapy too and therapy helped was made to question, why should he ignore me when it's wrong. Why should he not stand up for me! Why should the same things that are good for everyone else become bad for him.. and why was our relationship there if not for love, equality... how was it ok for me to be so isolated?
If he faced the same? Or if his sister got the same from her husband, would it become ok?

She helped him see that this was a bigger drama that was happening... this was destroying our lives, setting a wrong precedent, making us vulnerable to facing a lot of discord further, and also breaking our bond...
When in therapy we started interacting with each other, sharing spending time again, the bond between us got deeper and my husband could see how much I had faced and for no reason, no logic only hypocrisy to deny me that what everyone else must get,
hypocrisy that makes me lonely when I deserve company ,
Hypocrisy that makes me suffer when I was here for happiness!

Hypocrisy with no reason, no logic, only insecurity, only control!!!

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