Wife leaves her family. When she expects care, we say she is breaking home. Hypocrisy 

Sanjeev

I had been emotionally ignorant towards my wife's needs! I had really been abusive to her I believe

When we got married and she expected time with me, someone would say that she is expecting too much, that I can't change so much after marriage and I would ignore her, in the pursuit of proving to everyone that I had not changed. 

 

When she would say her opinions, she would be branded a misfit in the family. Everyone would say she wasn't an ideal daughter in law 

 

When she would expect to give me love or want my attention, everyone would label as being "Selfish", only caring about self and so on

 

Of course, all of this was not always said directly. But it was implied through comparisons, through references with others, through how a woman should be and how she was.

 

Everyone would say that I shouldn't change..... I shouldn't become away from family for a woman.. And all this led me to be such that my wife became isolated

She went into depression. Before marriage, she was such a happy person, smile would never leave her. She used to talk about her ambitions so excitedly! 

 

But now she had gone quiet. She would not want to work. I would see her crying or being always upset, feeling really low... After a few weeks, I got to know she had started therapy at IWill. 

She started getting involved in her career again, she would go out, she would hang out with her parents. Her mental state looked better. One day I asked her what could I do? 

She said nothing and then I thought I should join IWill therapy too.

It was as IWill couple sessions progressed I could see how bad my wife had been treated!

 

She had left her home!  She was away from her family. She needed love. She needed care. She needed me and even that was being denied to her.

She had got in to a new family. Away from hers. How was she breaking any family? If anything her dreams were being broken and I too with my ignorance was stopping her family to be complete!

It's my wife who suffered isolation. She was and is my own!  This is the hypocrisy we need to change! A wife should not been seen as an outsider...And men should stand up for their life partners! i did! 

 

And I am sorry that I didn't understand this earlier 

Sanjeev Madan