Yes, I am leaving my home for my wife, Pooja! Here is why

Amit Singh

Before you judge me, for being a bad son, being a wife’s man only, you must read my story!

A wife is a man’s partner. When there is a marriage between two individuals, your wife becomes your responsibility as you become hers. Her right on your love is absolute. It’s a bond of love, of togetherness, of unconditional support only!

Yet when my wife and I got married and she came to my home, I was made to feel bad for expressing my love to her.

I was always asked to prove my love to others over her.

There would be a constant comparison between my time with her vs how much time I was giving someone else, especially my mother.

My sister would always make me feel bad as though anything I did for my wife, was proving that I didn’t love my mother.

And other than that, my wife who was quite innocent, would be made remarks on, including why she laughed, that her food choices were bad, we don’t eat oily or greasy stuff. Rules that never existed in this home, would be told to her.

She was a happy, beautiful person when we first met and after marriage, she would be scared to be herself, I would see her eyes swollen and even I was constantly trying to balance her basic needs.

There would be indirect remarks on how her parents were less than others, remarks on her success as if it was less and so on and so forth.

She had become so pained that she went into depression.

She had to start her therapy at IWill, as one of her friends recommended her because I didn’t know but she had become so pained that she was thinking that her life was over and even had feelings of self-harm!
 

In therapy, the IWill therapist helped her see her goodness, her existence, her self-identity, and how the behavior she was getting today wasn’t reflective of who she was, but rather more of people around and she needed to focus on herself, assert herself, and be there for herself.

One day she asked me if I was ok with couple therapy at IWill, at that time, it felt strange but I hesitatingly agreed.

It was in therapy that I could see all that I shared above, all that was happening, that was wrong!

She expected all the love for me and I was hiding behind this fear of not offending others, as if loving my wife was wrong!

I was letting her being denied her self-respect in my home. How would I have felt if it was happening to me in her home?

It took 6 IWill sessions of therapy and it was life-changing.

From not understanding her, to seeing her pain and understanding how I had to take care of her.

From her letting her be on her on, to standing up for her

From ignoring her to avoid fights to questioning others as to why they were creating these rifts or odd comparisons, I had changed!

 

But then no one changed, abuse increased, when I was not around, there was more bullying and so I decided to leave my home, not because I didn’t love anyone else, but because I didn’t want abuse from my wife, and nor did I want fights and bitterness to grow!

 

I am always there for my loved ones. But I am also there and have to be there for my wife!
 

In our country where our name is taken after that of our wife, we can't keep her happiness secondary!

I am not going to do that anymore, I need my wife happy and she is my responsibility!

Amit Singh

Seek therapy at IWill if you could relate to signs shared. You don't have to go anywhere just book sessions recommended to you and invest in your peace, happiness and inner healing